Before you meet to interview a divorce lawyer, be sure that you want a divorce. Otherwise the purpose of your consultation is not to find a good divorce lawyer but to decide if you want a divorce.

While divorce lawyers can advise on the legal and practical consequences of divorce they are not marriage counselors. For help deciding whether or not to divorce, seek the advice of relationship experts.

While our firm offers a no-obligation consultation, many divorce lawyers charge consultation fees for an initial interview. As you will (or should) be meeting with at least two different firms, this can add up to quite a sum before you’ve even gotten started. However, the fact that you are paying for their time just may turn out to be a good incentive to make sure you leave the interview with all the information you need to decide if the he or she is a good divorce lawyer.

To decide if someone is a good divorce lawyer, a large part of your interview will involve asking the divorce lawyer questions about their expertise, experience, fees and so on. Like many, you may find the idea of questioning a highly-trained professional daunting.

While understandable, you’re better served by being proud of the fact that you are acting responsibly by being selective about who gets your business. 
Be prepared for the meetings by taking these steps prior to your initial consultations:

• Prepare a brief summary of your marriage. For instance, how long you have been married, problems leading to your decision to divorce, action taken so far, and complicating issues such as children, abuse, or substantial private or business assets.

• Be prepared to be surprised by your emotions. Meeting a divorce lawyer will make your divorce a stark reality, something you may not have fully accepted yet.

• Despite common advice to the contrary, it is not necessary to bring your important documents with you. This is an initial consultation, the purpose of which is to evaluate the divorce lawyer.

• Have a clear idea of the direction the interview should take, and guide it in that direction. It is recommended that you introduce yourself, provide some brief background details and ask your questions before you discuss your divorce in any more detail.

• As you go through your questions to ask a divorce lawyer, take the time to write their answers down. Later, evaluate the lawyer’s responses, attitude and quality of their responses.

• Ask the same set of questions at each interview – it will be easier to compare divorce lawyers – and don’t trust your memory. Write the answers down.

Additionally, Attorney Irwin M. Pollack claims there are nine points that you must make with your attorney in order to make sure they understand you well along with your primary objectives:

1. The single most important thing to me…

2. The second most important thing to me…

3. The following things are important to me, but they are not essential. I am willing to negotiate about these items…

4. The following items are not all that important to me, but I would like to keep them in mind as part of my overall outcome…

5. The following things are of no consequence to me whatsoever…

6. Are my goals realistic and if not, why not?

7. This is what I think are the most important things for you to know about the other person or people on the other side of the case…

8. What I think is the most important thing to the other person or people involved in this case…

9. What I think is the greatest issue between me and the other person or people involved in this case…

If you are worried that your attorney will think an honest answer to any of these questions will be silly or petty, you have the wrong attorney. As you interview potential attorneys, download our Special Report, “How to Hire a Domestic Relations Attorney.”