Pitfalls of Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation has a nice sound to it. Both parties simply communicate about what's fair and agree on all divorce issues without the need to go to court. Some experts claim this approach is a forward-thinking and less destructive way of dissolving a marriage.
Others claim that the focus is too often a rush to concluding the divorce process rather than developing a fair and equitable settlement that meets the needs of both parties. For this reason, and others, more and more professionals claim using traditional divorce court is the best way to go.
The Dangers of Using Mediation in Family Law Disputes
An attorney acting in the role of mediator cannot advise either party about his or her legal rights. In cases where you need legal counsel, you still need to retain your own attorney. Ultimately, paying for both a mediator and your own attorney can become a higher financial burden than what you had first expected.
In some cases, one of the spouses is motivated to mediate the divorce only to hurry past the discovery process. If there's a substantial asset or some other dishonest action taking place, moving quickly through the process inevitably leads to precautionary discovery safeguards slipping through the cracks.
Given that a prerequisite to the successful mediation process requires that both parties communicate openly and honestly with a common set of goals in sight, such disingenuous conduct almost guarantees a failed outcome.
At The Massachusetts Family Law Group (MFLG), our lawyers advise clients about the other disadvantages to mediation that include:
- It can be tough to use an alternative to divorce court if your spouse has a history of intimidating and abusing you so that, almost as a matter of self-preservation, you repeatedly give up and have lost most of the arguments that have taken place during your marriage. In this situation, your spouse is so used to winning all of the time that the only offer of settlement you'll get will be unreasonable, and your spouse will refuse to negotiate meaningfully.
- Some spouses won't cooperate in talking reasonably about the terms of a divorce. If you're facing this type of hesitation, you'll end up watching months (even years) go by with little or no progress.
- Our attorneys have heard of some spouses who clam up or lash out because they are too angry about the reality of a divorce. Others are too hurt. Some just plain refuse to talk about it at all. And there are those who just want to rant and rave about how ungrateful you are and how they are going to take you to cleaners — and so on. When people are hurt or angry, they often refuse to communicate meaningfully.
- The mediation process can be stopped or derailed by one of the parties. This does not happen in court. Eventually, there will be a decision. In mediation, if one of the parties is unhappy with the direction of the mediation, he or she can simply withdraw from the process. This can cause a major delay in getting through the divorce process. Depending on the issue at stake, you may need to start over again.
Without mediation, there are still several options to courtroom litigation. Taking a conciliatory approach to resolving your issues is often viewed as a winning path. Our Plymouth divorce lawyers will talk with you about this and other alternatives based on your particular situation. We will educate you about your options and ensure that you understand the benefits and risks.
Learn More About Divorce Mediation in Massachusetts
To find out whether mediation is right for you, contact MFLG at our Plymouth office. Learn how we can help you by calling (800) 299-DIVORCE to schedule your free initial consultation. We serve people on the South Shore, Cape Cod and the islands, including Barnstable, Dukes and Nantucket counties.
